Horatio Fizkin Esq.
It was election time at Eatanswill when Mr Pickwick decided to visit. Never was such a contest known.
The self righteous people of Eatanswill were divided by two great parties, the Blues and the Buffs, with Blue shops and Buff shops, Blue inns and Buff inns and there was even a Blue aisle and a Buff aisle in the church. The two fine local newspapers, the Gazette advocating Blue principles and the Independent supporting the Buffs had whipped the town up into frenzy over the election.
I lived at Fizkin Lodge and I was the candidate for the Buffs party and opposing me was Samuel Slumkey of Slumkey Hall, candidate for the Blues. Supporters of the Blues were on their soap box spouting on one side of the street and my supporters were banging large drums on the other side to drown them out.
Mr Pickwick and his companions had no sooner dismounted from their carriage when there was great cheering coming from mobs on both sides of the street.
"Slumkey for ever" shouted one mob,
"Slumkey for ever" echoed Mr Pickwick.
"Who is Slumkey" whispered Mr Tupman.
"I don't know" replied Mr Pickwick "Just do what the mob do".
"But suppose there are two mobs?" suggested Mr. Snodgrass.
"Shout with the largest" replied Mr. Pickwick.
In a smart move my agent had lots of voters locked up in one of the pubs, plying them with drink, till I needed them so that Slumkey's agents could not get to them. Unfortunately, in a smarter move Slumkey's agents had bought parasols for the wives of more voters securing the vote of their husbands and their half brothers. In a bid for even more popularity Slumkey came out and shook hands with some voters and reluctantly kissed the children.
The electors were eventually gathered in the square to elect their parliamentary member and when I stood up to address the electors, immediately a band employed by Slumkey started playing furiously and fighting broke out in the crowds. Eventually we addressed the crowd and the mayor asked for a show of hands which went in favour of Slumkey. I demanded a poll which unfortunately returned Samuel Slumkey as Member of Parliament for Eatanswill.
I am Horatio Fizkin, Buff candidate at the Eatanswill elections.